Hard Truths
by JRMLEVAZ
Summary: Clary has moved to new town to try and get over her dark past. She tries to trust her new friends and follow her heart. But are love and friendship really the road to save her or will the skeletons in her past ruin everything. This fic is AH/AU/OOC.
1. Chapter 1

**** All characters, places, dates or anything else that is related to or from the Mortal Instrument series are the property of Cassandra Clare.****

A/N: This is not the first Fan fic I have wrote, but it is the first one I have ever put out there for other people to read. This fic is rated M for a reason. There is some strong launage, talk of abuse (domestic and child), and some sexual context. That being said I will give you a warning before each chapter just as a heads up. This is fic is AH/AU and there will be OOC moments with most if not all of the characters. I have also changed some of the family and relationship dynamics.

Since this the first fan fic I have posted I do not have a beta so all mistakes are my own.

Chapter 1 - Answers

Clary stared out the window. She felt like she had been starting forever, maybe she had. She watched as they left neighborhoods for highways. She watched as they drove pass multiple state lines. She watched as the as the city lights turned to rolling hills and then miles and miles of tree lines. At least now that they were off the highway she didn't have to look at the passengers of passing cars, now all she had was the wide vast changing landscape. This whole trip was about starting over, trying to say goodbye to the past. She has been staring at the landscape trying to figure out how to say goodbye. How do you say goodbye to the last 10 years of your life? How do you say goodbye to everything that you know? How do you get the memories to go away? These were the questions that she needed answer for. But the answer weren't in the rolling hills or the miles of tree lines. She had hoped they were but they weren't

She took a break from the landscaped and looked to her left. There behind the steering wheel of the black ford truck was her brother Jonathan. Throughout the whole trip she had avoided looking at him. She couldn't look at his familiar green eyes, or his familiar white blonde hair. Did Jonathan have the answers? Could she ask? She watched her brother navigate the big truck down the narrow two lane road. His eyes moved from the road to the GPS unit mounted on the windows back to the road. She wondered how he did it. How could he look so clam and in control at a time like this? Where the same thoughts and memories racing through his mind? Had he been able to say goodbye?

A female voice with a bad British accent cut through the silence of the cab. "In 2 miles make a left turn on to Suntrails Road. Your destination will be .5 miles on the right" Clary glanced back out the windows just in time to see the tree line replaced with small business and houses. She watched as they passed a small dinner, a garage, and a small shopping center before she felt the truck turn towards the left. Her stomach churned again and her palms got sweaty. Her mind starting racing over everything that she had went over on the ride here, but now it seemed more real. The whole trip she knew what was happening but it was like there was a part of her mind that had held back. Some part that didn't believe it, some part that said that is wasn't real. But now being on this street, with the GPS screaming back in the background that their destination was in .5 miles on the right everything fell into place. This was really happening.

A cute red brick house with a white front porch and a perfectly cut yard passed the window. The house next to it was bigger and had gray siding instead of red bricks. The yard was bigger and she noticed a swing set in the side yard. Behind the house woods ran as far as she could see. She followed the woods with her eyes noticing a few more houses spotted along the street. While she was trying to take in the look and feel of the neighborhood the truck started to slow and pull to the right.

"Here we are" She turned her head to stare at her brother. He was looking straight at her. Her stomach churned and her eyes started to water. This was it, it was real. All she had to do was look away from Jonathan and she would see the new life he created. The new life Jonathan had worked so hard to get them. All she had to do was turn her head. Even though she knew this that small part of her brain was screaming not to look because it wasn't real. The big white brick house she had looked at for 10 years would be sitting there, nothing will have changed. Everything would have just been a dream.

" Clary…" The sounds of Jonathan voice slowed down her thoughts. She hadn't relied that she had moved but her head and was now looking at her lap. Jonathan reached out a pushed a few strands of red curls behind her ear. "Are you ok?"

She looked over at her brother, the worry and the fear was plain on his face. His green eyes were wetter than usual. She wanted to reach out to him; she wanted to tell him that she fine. She wanted to thank him for ever thing but she couldn't. There was so much going on in her head that she was afraid if she opened her mouth the thoughts would just flow free. Since she couldn't say or do what she wanted to she did the only thing she could. She smiled up at her brother, her best friend, her savior.

Jonathan returned her smile and turned back to the steering wheel. He moved the gear stick to park at the same moment the GPS flared to life again. The fake British voice stating that they had reached their destination. Clary pulled all the courage she had left and finally glanced up. Through the windshield she saw the house. It was red brick and had a white porch and a big bay front window. The Drive way went all the way around the house. A large back yard stretched out from the end of the driveway ended at a white fence that ran along the main road. She wished for a moment that she could switch with one of the houses across the street so she could have the woods behind her, like a strong force watching her back. But she stopped the though there she had no right to wish for more. What she had now was more than she had a few days ago more than she could ever hope to have. She should be happy about that not picking it apart and wish it was more. But she always wished for more and at one time that wishing was all that she had to get through the days.

Jonathan shut the truck off and pulled out the keys "I guess we can get everything unloaded, and then try to find some place to eat?" She could tell by the way he spoke the words and the tone he used he was asking her if that was ok, without really asking.

Before she knew what she was doing or could even stop it the words poured out of her mouth. "I saw a small dinner right up the street, Maybe we could go there?" She smiled up at Jonathan hoping that by appearing happy he would believe that she was. She was also hoping he wouldn't notice the way her voice sounded small and terrified.

Jonathan's eye brightened and a smile lightened the hard lines and features of his face "Of course we can!" The sight of the happiness in his face maybe the nervousness dim a little bit to be replaced with strength. She would do this! She could do this! She would and could make this work! She had to for Jonathan. With a new since of purpose she reached behind her seat and grabbed her back pack before pulling the handle and jumping from the truck. She looked up at the dark wooden front door to the small red brick house in this small town in the country. She was no longer in the city surrounded by the huge buildings and the lights. This was her fresh start. She glanced over her shoulder and saw Jonathan still sitting in the truck. He still had the smile spread across his face, but now his eyes were full of hope. She pulled the last little bit of strength that she had turned back towards the door and took her first step towards her new life.

Jonathan watched her walk slowly walked across the yard, up the 3 little steps and across the porch. She pulled out a little gold key, slipped it into the door knob and turned. As soon as her feet crossed the threshold he left out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding. His hands fell to his lap as his head landed on the edge of the steering wheel. He knew that this was what had to happen, he knew it was going to be hard on both of them but he wasn't as sure of his plans as he was before they left. The whole trip down she had just stared out the window, thinking he guessed. His mid was racing to find something to say to her, some way to help her, but nothing ever came. That is when his plan started to not look as good as he originally thought. Sure he could protect her, and he had no doubt he could provide for her, but could he help her. Could he fix all the pain and fear he saw in her eyes? Could he keep his promises? His mind took him back to the night when he made the most important promises of his life.

He had been on cloud nine as they say; he had just been approved for his dream car. A full size black extended cab Ford F150. The thing was brand new, fully loaded, with chrome wheels and leather interior. As soon as he jumped inside and turned the key his phone started ringing, he glanced down at the screen and his heart fell into his stomach. Home was flashing across the front of the screen, nobody ever called from the house. He pushed the talk button and before he had the phone to his ear he heard her.

"Jonathan…Jonathan.. Please come home" He could feel the terror in her voice even through the phone.

"Clary" He spoke her name slowly as to not startle her further. Silence was all he heard through the phone. His knuckles tightened on the steering wheel, the new leather crackling under the pressure of his hand. "Clary, Come on answer me"

The voice that answered was not his little sister, but the house keeper Rosa "Sir, I don't know what happen but it is bad…. please hurry" Jonathan could tell by the tone of her voice that she was scared and unsure.

The next thing he knew he was running up the spiral staircase towards her room, he didn't remember the drive home or even if he turned the truck off. The only though running his head was that he had to find her and make sure she was ok. As he raced down the hall he heard someone who sounded like his mother say his name, but he kept running. He was almost there; one more corner and her door came into sight. He pushed his body down the hall and through the door and there she was. She was standing in the middle of her room in a ripped black t-shirt and light pink boy shorts, there was blood running down the front of her face from her nose or mouth he couldn't tell. She glanced up from the floor and looked at him through puffy, red eyes that were so full of fear that it had started to spill over the sides.

Her weak voice floated across the room and stabbed him straight in the chest "John, you came"

"Of course I came. I will always come for you' He couldn't take it anymore he crossed the room and wrapped his arms around her. He could feel the blood and tears from her face soaking through his shirt but he didn't care. It was in this moment that he decided what he had to do. He had to save her, no matter what the cost to him or anyone else he would save her, there was no other option. He pulled her face out of his shirt so she could look at him "I'm going to get us out of here Clary. I promise!"

"But how John, they will never let us leave"

"I don't want you to worry about that, but I promise I am going to get us out of here. An when I do I promise I am going to take care of you"

"But.." He put his finger over her mouth to stop her protest. His thumbs brushed the tears off her checks as he stared into her eyes. He missed his little sister, the feisty little red head who was so full of life and love.

" I don't want you to worry about that carrot. I promise I am going to take care of everything. Now I want you to take shower and try and get some rest.

A hint of her old sly mischievous smile played across her lips "I'll see what I can do peas" He couldn't hold back the chuckle. Every time they used their childhood nicknames for each other he got a peak at the little sister he lost so long ago. The smile never took over her whole face or reached her eyes like it use to, but it was a start and all he needed to go through with his plan.

Jonathan lifted his head off the steering wheel and ran his hand through his hair. He would bring that girl back. He would get his sister back no matter what he had to do. She was his family now and that is what you did for family. A small part of his mind hoped that if he could heal her and get her back maybe he could heal himself.

Clary walked through the house taking in every room. The walls were all a light cream with dark hardwood floors. All the windows were bare letting little patches of sunlight spread across the rooms. She walked into the living room first with its dark blue couch, down a hall way with bedrooms on both ends and a bathroom in the middle. She walked back through the living room but stopped in the door way to the kitchen. The house was a lot smaller than the white one, but it had a homey feeling that the white one never had. Something inside her told her that this is where she belonged, in this little house in this little town. She looked up and noticed a white door straight across from her; she walked across the kitchen and grabbed the door knob. On the other side of the door was the most beautiful room Clary had ever seen. There was huge windows in three of the walls that over looked the backyard, the wood from the floors ran up the walls to frame the windows. The wall behind her had shelves build into it; there was a door on the left side of the room that went out to a small patio. She walked into the middle of the room dropping her book bag by the door closed her eyes and let the sun soak into her skin. She now knew why they called them sunrooms. It was like taking a shower in sunlight. She stood there in the middle of the room letting the sun wash all her worries away.

"Clary"

"Back here John" She heard his footsteps echo through the house. When she opened her eyes he was standing in the door frame of the sunroom looking around. He was holding the other two bags she had brought with them in his left hand.

"Well this room is.." He glanced around the room again as if he was looking for the right word "bright."

"I know!" She glanced around the room again, trying to take everything in. She looked back at her brother "Can this be my room?"

He looked over at her confused for a moment but whatever he could see in her face seemed to settle any confusion he was feeling. He dropped the bags on the floor next to her book bag and walked further into the room "Of course Clary. If this is the room you want then it is yours, although I have to say I don't see why"

Before she knew what she was doing she crossed the space between them and wrapped her arms around his chest "Thank you"

"It's just a room Clary but you're welcome"

"No John, not just for the room for everything." He wrapped his arms around her shoulders, hugging her back. She wanted to tell him everything she had been thinking in the truck on the ride down. She wanted to tell him about all the emotions she had kept inside for so long. But she couldn't get her mind to form the right words to express what she really wanted to say instead she went with what she could say. "I can't explain it but this feels right. It feels better" She looked up at his face "Do you understand"

His eyes were closed but he hugged her tighter "Yeah I understand"

Standing in this room surrounded by the sun and her brothers arms felt right, like she was final where she was suppose to be. Sure the bad thoughts she had on the trip down were still there but for just a moment the bad stuff was taking over her. In this moment she felt like a normal 16 year old girl, well as normal as a girl in her shoes could feel. She realized that she wanted answers but needed moments like this one. She put her head back into her brothers chest " I like this room because it is bright" What she didn't say was that she was hoping the brightness would help with the darkness her life had been and she was tired of being in the dark.


	2. Chapter 2

**** All characters, places, dates or anything else that is related to or from the Mortal Instrument series are the property of Cassandra Clare.****

A/N: Thanks to everybody who reviewed I loved hearing from you. Sorry I didn't have time to answer them all personally but to answer a few of your questions: Yes, I changed some of the personality traits of the characters because they just didn't fit with the story. Also I did change some of the family and relationship dynamics ( EX; Jonathan and Clary) because they also didn't fit with the story. To all the Where's Jace people you will be happy to know he is in this chapter.

I still don't have a beta so all mistake are mine and mine alone. Sorry guys I will work on finding one but I am always open to suggestions if you know a good one. Hope you enjoy

Chapter 2 - Purple

Clary sat on the banister of the front porch, her arms around her legs and her cheek resting on her knees. She had no idea how long she had been sitting there, but her body was grateful for the rest. Today had been one of the most exhausting days her life, and at this point she was pretty sure her body would go on strike if she tried to do anything else. Even though every muscle in her body hurt and it took every ounce of strength she had left to hold her eyes open, she was happier than she had been in a very long time. This is the first time she could remember where they spent the whole day together without sadness or pain. They had moved the bed and dresser from the front bedroom to the sunroom, put all her paints and art supplies up on the shelves. Sat at the small kitchen table and made a list of things they needed to get at the store. Then had a sliding in socks contest on the hardwood floors, which ended with both of them on the ground laughing and holding their sides. She laughed to herself at the memories; it really had been one of the best days ever. She looked up still laughing to notice the sun was setting, it was now sitting on the top of the tree line like it was just as tired as she was and was using the trees to hold it up. She released her legs from their hold and stretched them out in front of her; she leaned back, resting her head against the house and closed her eyes. She could see the sunset in her mind, the oranges, red, yellows with hints of purple as they stretched across the tree tops. Purple, she had always thought of that as a bad color. A color that meant buries and pain, a dark color. But seeing it mixed in like that, with the sunset, it was actually pretty, a happy color, just like her mood.

"Clary?" She opened her eyes slowly; her vision was blurry, out of focus. Her heart started to race, was it all a dream? Was she still in the white house? She lifted her hands to her face and wiped her eyes. "Clary?" She moved her hands and blinked again, and then everything came into focus. There was the tree line and that was Jonathan's voice, her heart slowed, it wasn't a dream. The sun had disappeared behind the trees now but you could still see the soft glow, a promise that it was still there. She looked to her left and saw him standing on the porch. He had changed into a pair of jeans and a white t-shirt, his hair was still damp from the shower. He was holding his keys and wallet and looking at her.

She put her hands back up to her face and rubbed her eyes again "Sorry I was watching the sunset and I must have fallen asleep" She dropped her hands and looked up at him again.

"It's ok, no worries" He raised his hand and jingled his keys "Do you still want to get food?"

"Yeah" She swung her legs to the side of the banister and scooted to the edge. When both feet were planted firmly on the concert floor of the porch; she pulled her arms above her head and stretched her whole body.

"I swear carrot, you are so strange sometimes. I mean who falls asleep on a banister" Jonathan was laughing and shaking his head.

She lightly shoved his should "Shut it, it isn't that strange. I'm sure you have done things that wouldn't even put that on the strangeness meter"

"You are probable right" He put his arm across her shoulder "Let's go eat before I starve to death, and then you don't have anybody to show you up in the strange department" Clary just laughed and let him lead her towards the truck.

The diner was a silver building with windows on the front and down the side by the parking lot. It had a silver sign that hung in the front above the door, with Verlac's in bright green lights across it. There was a half u shaped counter the ran along one side of the dinner from the front almost to the back, There was a row of booths on the other wall right under the windows, and a few table set up in the middle and front . The color scheme was the same on the inside as it was on the outside. The table tops and floors were the same silver as the outside of the diner, the booths and chairs were the same green as the sings without the glow of the lights. Jonathan walked over to a booth and sat down, facing the door. He always faced the door, no matter where they were. She never asked him why he did it, and she was pretty sure that he didn't even realize it. She scooted in to the booth across from him as he pulled a menu out from behind the napkin holder and started to read.

"Hey Jon" She reached over to grab her own menu

"Hmm" He answered her, his eyes still roaming over the food selection

She opened the menu and pretended to be looking over the selections to "Why do you always sit facing the door?"

" Well.." When he paused she glanced up at him from her menu. He was staring at the door with a serious expression on his face. He ran a hand through his still damp hair causing small white blonde spikes. He looked at her, his eyes still serious "I guess because I want to see who comes through them before they see me" His eyes searched hers before they returned back to the menu.

She didn't know what to say so she didn't say anything, but with that one answer she realized that she wasn't the only one that needed change. Her past affected both of them, but then it wasn't just her past, it was their past. To stop that train of thought before it over took her she glanced around the dinner. There was an older couple two booths down sharing a piece of pie, a younger couple sitting at a table trying to get a toddler to eat. At the back of the dinner, sitting at the counter slash bar there was a group of teenagers laughing and talking.

"So what are you going to have" She glanced back down at her menu, actually looking at the food in it now. She saw the usually stuff 5 different kinds of hamburger, chicken, salads, fires and shakes.

"Ummm.. I don't know" She glanced up at Jonathan who was still looking his menu "What are you going to have?"

He shook his head slowly then looked back up her a smile across his face "I have no idea"

"Well I would recommend the sweet potatoes fries, they are to die for and we have some of the best milkshakes in town" Clary turned towards the voice. At the end of the booth was a girl who looked to be about her age with long black hair and bright blue eyes. She was wearing a green dress that matched the color of the chair, with silver button going up the front "My name is Isabelle and I will be your waitress" She smiled at them both before placing napkins and forks on the table in front of them.

"I'm Jonathan and this is my little sister Clary" She looked back at Jonathan to see him smiling up at the waitress, Isabelle. His eyes lingered on her face a little longer than necessary before they moved down her body. Clary smiled to herself, her brother was checking out the waitress, not that she could blame him she was beautiful.

"Well hello then Jon and Clary" She glanced back at the waitress, who was looking down pulling something out of her apron. She could tell by the smile on her face that the girl noticed what her brother was doing, but if the smile was anything to go by the girl didn't mind. "Are you guys passing through?"

"No, we just moved here" Jonathan replied his eyes still on the girl.

"Well that's good." The girl had pulled out a pad of paper and a pen "Have you decided what you would like?"

"Yeah, I'll have the fires and a chocolate shake" Jonathan answered, then looked over at Clary.

She glanced down at the menu still in front of her "Ummm. I'll just have a chocolate shake"

"Ok" The girl said, she put the pen and paper back in her apron and started walking back towards the group of teenagers in the back of the diner. Clary's eyes moved from the waitress back to the group. There were three boys sitting at bar stools, the one on the end had black hair and was wearing a red t-shirt, sitting a little closer than normal to him was another dark haired boy with a bright blue glitter vest over a black shirt. She wondered if anybody else noticed how close the two dark haired boys were sitting, or if they even cared if they did notice. The last boy had golden blonde hair that curled on the ends and a tight black shirt on, he was in what looked like serious conversation with a girl that stood across the counter in front of him, she had on the same green uniform as Isabelle, and the same dark hair. There was another dark haired boy standing behind a small window that was cut into the wall. He was wearing a white apron and when she glanced up she noticed he was staring at her, when their eyes meet a small smile crossed his face and he nodded his head. Clary felt the heat creep up her face at his nod and his smile got bigger.

"What are you staring at back there" She broke eye contact with the boy in the window, just in time to see Jonathan turn in his booth "really Clary" he turned back to her laughing "boys"

She felt her face get hotter "NO! I was looking at the ..." She glanced at the wall above Jonathan head "decorations" She groaned internally at her answer, but in her defense she was looking at them because they were boys.

Jonathan laughed harder "So now they are decorations?"

She glared at Jonathan, two could play that game "Well what would you call the waitress"

"Definitely not decorations, well at least not if I want her to talk to me again"

She glared at Jonathan harder "Well" but laughter from the back of the diner cut of her train or though. She looked up to see the waitress Isabelle smack the cook over the head

"Seb there is something wrong in your head."

He reached up and rubbed his head while making a pouty face "Damn, Izzy that hurt" At his comment the group behind them all started laughing again.

Clary looked away from the group back to Jonathan "I don't want them, I want to be them" his face went from happiness and lughter to seriousness at her comment.

"You want to work at a diner?"

She shook her head, a curl falling into her face "No" she pushed the curl behind her ear "I want to be normal. I want to have nothing better to do than hang out in a diner with my friends. I want to laugh and be carefree. I want us to be them." She couldn't look at Jonathan anymore so she glanced down at her hands lying on the table. "I want us to be normal"

He grabbed her hands "I want that to. That is why I did what I did. I got us out of there so we could be normal. So you could hang out in a diner with your friends." He reached across the table and lifted her chin, forcing her to either look at him or close her eyes. She looked at him "And if you want to look at the decorations, then I want you to look"

She could hold back the tears anymore so she let the fall and squeezed his hand on hers "I'm scared"

"I know, but that is part of being normal. Being scared of boys and other high school girls" He moved his hand from her chin to wipe the tears off her cheek "But I would worry more about the girls because I know from experience that high school girls can be very very dangerous"

She laughed through the tears at his comment and a smiled formed on his face again. "I agree with him" Clary glanced up to see Isabelle standing at the end of the booth with two chocolate milkshakes and a plate of fries. When their eyes met she could see understanding in the girls face. Even thought the girl most likely thought that she understood moving to a new town and making new friends or even the problems that come along with boys and not all the pain in her past, it was still there An if a girl she didn't know and knew nothing about her could try and relate to her maybe she wasn't as far from normal as she though. She had been wrong about the color purple maybe she was wrong about herself to.

Jace closed his eyes before running his hands through his hair. Here he was, having this conversation with her again, why couldn't she just get it? Was it him? Maybe he should try different words this time. He opened his eyes to see brown ones staring back at him "Look Aline I don't want to do this again"

Her eyes looked back and forth at his "What do mean again?"

He let his head fall into his hands "We have been having this conversation for about a month now, and I don't want to do it again" The door to the diner opened and he glanced up to the front to see a tall boy with white blonde hair and dark green eyes walk in. He glanced back to Aline and saw the tears forming in her dark eyes. Damn it they were going to do this again and no matter what he did, she was past the point of letting him out of it.

"I want a reason Jace, you at least owe me that"

He ran his hands through his hair again "I just don't feel it ok?" She opened her mouth to say something but he cut her off, hoping that if he just finally let it out she would stop. Yeah it might hurt her but he had tried everything else and nothing worked. "Look don't get me wrong you're cute, but I just don't feel it and I can't make something be there that isn't there." Ok so maybe not the truth but as close as he could get without being a total ass "Plus it's not fair to you to be with someone who can't return your feelings."

"Holy shit! Look at the red head sitting at Izzy's table" Thank God for Sebastian, he though. He looked over through the cook window at his long time friend who had just saved him.

He turned his head to the front of the dinner but all he could see was Isabelle standing at the end of a booth and the back of the boy he noticed earlier. "What the hell are you talking about Seb?" He looked back over at this friend

Sebastian gaped and placed both his hands over his heart "I am talking my dear friend about the girl at table three who just made this the best night ever for me" He moved his hands from his chest out in front him and looked towards the ceiling "and if there is a God he will make her not just a tourists"

"She's not a tourists" Jace glanced over his should to see Isabelle walking up behind him, she walked past him and turned towards the cook window "order of fries Seb"

He disappeared from the window for a second, there was the sound of grease popping, and then his head was back in the window. "Well Izzy do tell"

She rolled her eyes "The boy is Jon and the girl is Clary, his little sister. They just moved here" She turned and walked to the shake machine that was in the front of the store

"So you are just going to sit here in front of me and talk about girls with your friends" Jace turned back to the front and Aline. The tears that were in her eyes earlier were gone replaced with a fire he had seen too much of the past few months. He ran his hands through his hair again. This is why he couldn't do this, yeah she was cute and fun, but all they did was fight the past few months. Granted the making up from the fights had been awesome but still she was just clingy and needy that it wasn't worth it. Before he could come up with a good reply to her Sebastian saved the day again

"Hey Jace do you know what they say about red heads" Jace glanced over at his friend giving him what the group referred to as the Sebastian face; To everybody else it was the what the hell are you talking about face. Sebastian's face lit up like someone had just told him he won the lottery, or found the cure for cancer "Red on the head, fire in the bed" Behind him he heard Alex and Magnus start laughing, but before he could even try to think of a response to that statement Isabelle's hand connected with the side of Sebastian's head

"Seb, there is something wrong in your head"

Sebastian reached up and grabbed the spot Isabelle had smacked and put on his best pouty face "Damn Izzy that hurt" Behind him the laughter got louder and Jace couldn't hold back anymore so he laughed with them. Sebastian disappeared behind the window again only to appear a few seconds later still holding his head with a plate of fries. Jace shook his head at his friends and turned back to Aline still standing in front of him; as soon as their eyes met she slammed her fists down on the counter

"Fine Jace, do whatever you want. I'm tired of trying just to get treated like this. I'm done" She stormed past him and through a silver door that lead back to the kitchen. He let his head fall to the counter breathing a sigh of relief. At least for right now it was over, but she would be back no matter what he did she always came back.

"She's my sister and I love her, and while I appreciate you being nice to spare her the pain, I can honestly tell you it isn't going to work" Jace lifted his head and met a pair of bright blue green eyes. Magnus, Aline's older brother and Ales's, well whatever they were pretending or weren't pretending to be today, was staring at him " She is ruthless, so you are either going to have to be cut throat or.." But he didn't hear the rest of what Magnus was saying because he had finally seen her. The red head Sebastian was talking about. She was sitting across from the boy he now knew was her brother, their hands linked together on the table, looking up at Isabelle. Even though she appeared relaxed and had a smile on her face, he could see the tightness in her shoulders, and the unleashed tears in her bright green eyes.

Isabelle sat the fries and shakes on the table, then turned and started back towards them, that's when their eyes met from across the diner. Under the weight of her bright green eyes his heart skipped a beat and he had this urge to go to her and wipe the pain from her face and protect her so it never came back. Her cheeks turned a light shade of pink before she moved a few stray red curls from her face and smiled at him and before his brain could catch up to what his body was doing he smiled back. She turned her eyes back to her brother and his brain final got back on board with his body. What the hell was that? He never had the urge to protect a girl before. Sure he was good with girls, hell some might even say he was great with them, he could make them smile no matter what, flirt like there was no tomorrow, and have them in his bed doing things that involved a lot of skin before they even knew his name, but never more than that. More than that lead to where he was with Aline right now, dealing with the needy, clingy bull that he couldn't handle, so then why did he have this urge to protect this girl? He didn't know anything about her but her name and that when he looked at her his brain went on vacation.

"So Jace, what ya think?" He turned away from the girl and the train of thought that would only get him more girl problems towards his friend who was still wearing the I won the lottery and cured cancer smile "She's a 10 right?"

Isabelle appeared in between them "You two just leave her alone, she seems fragile, and a girl like that doesn't need to be anywhere near the likes of you two"

He glanced back at the girl who was now drinking her milkshake and laughing with her brother, but there was something about this girl. Even though he didn't know her she seemed different to him, and he wanted to know more about her. He mind went back to his problems with Aline, hell with it, if could handle her he could handle any girl. Right? He stuck his hand out behind him "Izzy give me your pen and paper"

"Jace please" But he cut her off by snapping his fingers and turning to look at her. She reached into her apron and pulled out her pad and pen placing it in his hand. Before he could really think about what he was doing he wrote his name and number down on the top page, and handed the rest of the pad back to Isabelle meeting her eyes "I'll stay away from her if she wants me to" But he knew he wouldn't, something inside of him was telling him he had to know this girl, and he knew if he played this right he could.

Before she could reply he grabbed his bag and headed in the direction of the girl sitting at the booth. She hadn't noticed him approaching so when he got to the end of the booth he laid the paper face down in front of her, her eyes shot up to his " Next time try to fries red they really are to die for" He winked at her and walked away from the booth and out of the dinner. Glancing back in through one of the windows he noticed that her cheeks had turned so red they almost looked purple. He smiled to himself, yeah he had her.


	3. Chapter 3 – Distractions

**** All characters, places, dates or anything else that is related to or from the Mortal Instrument series are the property of Cassandra Clare.****

*** Warning: This chapter has some pre sex scenes and some strong language, so be warned if that stuff bothers you.* **

Chapter 3 – Distractions

Jace laid his head against cool white tiles, and let the hot water from the shower run down his back. For the past two days it felt like his brain had been on over drive, running through ever possible reason it could come up with as to why she didn't call. Friday night, after he left the dinner it wasn't that bad. He told himself on the drive home that he wouldn't hear from her that night because she wouldn't want to seem desperate, but that didn't keep him from checking his phone every two minutes only to be met with nothingness. Waking up Saturday morning to a blank screen, he told himself it was just because it was early and most people slept in on Saturday, hell he did when he didn't have practice. By the time he parked his jeep in the parking lot by the field he was backing to checking his phone every two minutes. He checked it one last time, still nothing; with a defeated sigh he dropped the phone in the console grabbed his bag and hoped that practice would take his mind off of her. It didn't work, the whole time he was on the field he was thinking about his phone. Was it going off? Was she calling? If she did call would she think he was ignoring her because he didn't answer? No matter what he did he couldn't get his head in the game, and he wasn't the only one who noticed every one of his team mates asked what his problem was and the coach threaten to bench him if he didn't get it together. By the end of practice he has tried, hurting and on edge but all that changed when he open his console and saw the blinking green light. He pulled out the phone, his heart racing, clicked on the screen then the view now button

_I know you have practice but after that can we talk…. Please ~ A._

The ice water that was hitting his back pulled him off of memory lane and back into reality, thank God; he was tired of thinking about it, tired of thinking about her. He turned the shower off, ran a towel over his body and hair then threw on some boxers and black basketball shorts before opening the door. He had to get a grip this was not like him, he didn't stress out over girls because there was always more, and it's not like they ever said no, but that was it in her own way she had said no. Leaving the bathroom door open he glanced around his room, his eyes landed on his laptop laying on the end of his bed, it was still on and still on the same page it had been on all day. Today had been the worse because he had nothing to do but sit around all day and think and of course there had been only one thing on his mind, Clary. He tried to clean, but he didn't have anything in his room to clean and that lead to thoughts about what was in her room? What did she like to do? Was she still unpacking and that is why she hadn't called? He tried to do homework but found that he couldn't concentrate because every few minutes he would stop to check his phone, just to make sure it wasn't on silent. He even went so far as to try and call his dad just to make sure he still had service, but of course it went straight to voicemail. He tried surfing the internet, but he just ended up on facebook searching for her, which was harder than he thought being the fact he only knew her first name and he wasn't even sure it was her full name.

The sound of his phone beeping pulled his eyes away from the laptop screen and his mind back to the present. He rolled his eyes it was most likely Aline again, the girl just didn't know when to give up, but the thought didn't stop his heart from racing, and the small part of his brain that just couldn't let it go say maybe it was her. He walked across his room and sat down on the end of his bed, grabbed his phone and before he could put too much thought into it pushed the view now button.

_Red or white tomorrow? ~ Seb_

He laughed to himself, before replying

_White 2morrow, red Friday ~ J_

Tomorrow was the homecoming pep rally at school, and even though they should be wearing their home jersey the coach instead they wear their away jerseys. He said that everybody else in the school would be wearing red to show their support and school spirit and the players should stand out.

_K…. Guess? ~ Seb_

_You finally got your brother back from stealing all your hurstlers? ~ J_

Sebastian and his twin brother Simon were always at each other's throats, or doing stupid stuff to piss each other off. Even though he would never say anything to his friend Simon always got the best of Sebastian, because were Sebastian got the looks Simon got the brains.

_Fuck I forgot about that! But no that isn't it… I got new neighbors ~Seb_

_Well that is great but the point? ~J_

_The point my friends is that one of them just so happens to be a red head.. Who at this moment is sitting outside by herself doing something with a book ~ Seb_

Jace's whole body froze, so his mystery girl lived next door to his best friend. Which meant she lived just on the other side of the tree line that ran behind his house; the tree line right outside his room. This whole time he had been driving himself crazy when his girl was only 10 minutes, if that away. What she wasn't his girl what was he thinking, she had turned him down, told him no, so she was in no way his girl. He glanced over at his laptop, looking at the small square picture in the left hand corner of the screen. The picture was of her and her brother smiling at whoever had taken the picture, but he had stared at it long enough to notice that even thought she was smiling it wasn't like the smile he had seen at the dinner, it was a fake smile, a sad smile. He looked back at his phone and his reply to Sebastian hit a little closer to him than he would have liked.

_What are you a stalker? ~J_

He looks at the picture again, he needed a distraction, needed something that would take his mind off of her and get him back to wear he was before Friday. He needed something he could control because he couldn't take anymore guessing or thinking. He slammed the lid of his laptop down just as his phone beeped.

_Ummm No… Well I don't think so? Anyways I was just letting you know that even though you made the first move I have the home field advantage ~ Seb _

So Sebastian though his move the other night was part of the game, he should of known they had been playing the game for as long as he could remember.

_I'm not playing this time Seb ~J_

_What… Why? ~Seb_

Why wasn't he playing? Why was this girl any different the all the other girls they had played the game on? It was because she was different, he had only seen her once and she was all he could think about. It was the pain he had seen in her eyes at the café and in the picture. It was because of how she looked at him and the way she blushed on Friday night at the dinner. It was because of what Izzy had said at the dinner, she was fragile and he couldn't put her in the middle of the game. A game where he and Sebastian used their good looks, and their ability to sweep girls off their feet, until one of them got into her pants. The winner being whoever got there first, and even though they had been doing it for years he couldn't do it to this girl. But he couldn't tell Sebastian the real reasons so he gave him the best answer her could come up with

_To much shit with Aline right now? ~J_

_I feel you. I'm so glad you won that one ~ Seb_

There was his distraction and something he could control. Before he could think about what he was doing he sent another message, hoping it was what he needed.

_My dad is gone, doors unlocked ~J _

He threw his phone on the bed beside him and fell back. Running his hands through his hair he hoped again that he was making the right choice and not about to make everything worse. Who was he kidding this was so going to make everything worse, but he couldn't help it. He heard a soft click letting him know that someone had opened his bedroom door, before her voice cut through the silence,

"Look, I'm sorry about the other night. I was mad and you know how I get when I get mad. I didn't mean"

He put his hand out to stop her apology, if anybody should be apologizing it was him for what he was about to do. He sat up on the end of his bed. "I didn't ask you to come to talk"

"Then why did you ask me to come"

He opened his eyes and looked at her, her skin was tan not pale, her eyes were dark not bright green, her hair was straight and brown not curly and red. She was everything he didn't want but knew he could have. Why did he ask her to come, because he needed what he knew he could get from her. He stood up and walked towards her, stopping when his body was as close to her as he could get without touching. He reached over her shoulder and pushed his bedroom door shut leaving them standing in the shadows the bathroom light caused in his dark room.

"Jace what"

He put his finger to her lips "shh" then he ran his hands down her arms and over to her hips, causing her to shiver. Using her hips he slowly pushes her backwards until her back hit the wall by his door, then he closed the small gap of space between them. As he pushed his body into hers he whispered in her ear "I need a distraction"

She pushed lightly against his chest, trying to gain that inch of space and control back "A distraction from what? What is going on?"

He looked down at her to see that she was looking up at him, her eyes bouncing back and forth at his looking for answer "From everything" He raised his right hand to her face and rubbed his thumb over her cheek, while his left hand slipped under her shirt resting on the skin just above the band of her shorts. Even thought he knew what he was about to do and say was wrong he couldn't stop himself " From everything but you" He slowly moved his left hand up the side of her body and over her ribs stop when he hit the swell of her breast. He moved his right hand back to her hips and put his lips next to her ear " Please, Aline just let me think about me and you" He ran his lips down the side of her face to her neck as his left thumb brushed over her nipple " Only you"

Her whimper let him know that he had her, he was in control. He stopped for a second his mouth hovering over her neck, he knew what he was doing and he knew it was wrong and some small part of him wanted to stop but he need the distraction she was offering. Before he could think about it anymore he moved his hand over her breast, added pressure and moved his lips to her neck sucking lightly. The sound of her moan echoed through the room, she ran her hands up his arms into the hair at the base of his neck and his body took over. He dropped both his hands to her ass and picked her up; she wrapped her legs around his waist and pushed her body into his. He turned and started walking towards his bed hoping that Sebastian wasn't doing to his neighbor what he was about to do to his.

Clary sat on the deck that came off her room with her sketchbook in her lap. But it wasn't helping. She was hoping it would be a distraction from the boy that had occupied her every thought since Friday, but it wasn't because now she wasn't just thinking about him she was drawing him. His eyes, his face, the way his hair hung over his forehead almost in his eyes, the way his back arched when he leaned over the counter. Then she would get mad at herself because her drawings weren't as good as the real thing. Closing her eyes she remembered the way his eyes looked at her, like he was really seeing her. She remembered the sound of his voice and how even still thinking about it gave her butterflies. She remembered how the muscles in his back and arms looked when he moved and how she wanted to run her hand over them. How when their eyes met for the first time across the dinner her lungs forgot how to work and her heart skipped a beat. She opened her eyes and flipped back a few pages in her sketchbook until she found the guest check paper, she read the small piece of paper for the millionth time since Friday

Jace

883-526-9841

As she stared at the writing she wondered what he was doing. Had he wondered why she hadn't used the number? Did he even remember giving it to her? Did he even remember her? It wasn't like a boy who looked like that couldn't get girls; they were most likely lined up outside of his house. Where was his house? She laughed at herself, man she had lost it. It was probably a good thing she didn't have a phone or he would know just how crazy she was and wish he never gave her his number.

"What's so funny?"

She slammed her sketchbook shut as her body tightened up and her heart started racing. She forced her eyes to look up as her body fought to breathe through the panic. The boy from behind the window at the dinner was standing in front of her

"Shit, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you, I live next door" His hand raised and her heart started racing faster and it got even harder to breathe. Her eyes closed bracing her for the pain her brain told her was coming, but when nothing happened she slowly opened her eyes to see that he was pointing to the small house across the lawn from hers "I just thought I would introduce myself, since were neighbors and all." Her eyes bounced from the house back to the boy in front of her with a concern look on his face and her body started to relax. He wasn't going to hurt her; he was just being nice she kept telling herself. The boy shoved his hands into the front pockets of his jeans and started to back away slowly "Well anyways my name is Sebastian and I live.. Well you know. Sorry again" He turned around and started heading down the steps

Damn it she wanted to be normal and have friends and here she was messing it up with the first person in town who talked to her. She closed her eyes again before opening them and taking a deep breath "You work at the dinner right?"

The boy stopped and just stood there for a second before turning around and looking at her "Yeah I'm one of the cooks and my mom owns the place" He face still looked concerned but he still just stood there.

"Sebastian right?" He nodded "Well I'm Clary" She looked back over at his house " your neighbor" When she looked back up at him he was smiling.

"It's nice to meet you Clary. I'm sorry I scared you"

"It's ok. I just thought I was alone, and I didn't hear you come up"

" Oh… Well next time I promise I will make more noise when I approach" She laughed, she couldn't help it. Here she was freaking out on some boy she didn't know and instead of running from her he was trying to make it better. She looked up at him again and noticed that the same smile he gave her at the dinner was plastered to his face. He was happy he made her laugh? He started shifting back and forth on his feet " Well I guess I'll just be going" but he didn't move, he stood there like he was waiting for her to say or do something. She closed her eyes she wanted to be normal but she didn't know how, she didn't know what she was suppose to do next, she had only really ever had a conversation with Jonathan. If you didn't have friends it was easier to hide. When she opened her eyes he had turned around and was heading down the steps again

"Wait Sebastian" He stopped, great now what "You can umm stay" Great Clary she though he never said he wanted to stay, what if he wanted to leave. What if he had something more important to do? She looked up at his back and whispered "If you want to?" She wasn't sure if he heard her or not until he turned around, and started back up the steps. He sat down on the deck across from her leaning against the railing, he stretched his legs out and she couldn't help but notice how long they were. Without thinking she moved her eyes up the lines of his legs to his hips, chest, arms, shoulders, then to his face. His eyes were dark, his hair barley hung over his forehead but it was dark to.

"Like what you see?" She could feel her face heating up as she dropped her eyes to her lap. He laughed "Sorry, I tend to have a problem thinking before I speak."

She smiled even though she wasn't sure if he could see it or not "It's ok I shouldn't have been staring"

"You can stare if you want, I promise you won't bother me"

She looked up at him to see his smile was back, it made his eyes look brighter "You make a lot of promises"

He shrugged "Only ones I can keep" He finally looked up and their eyes met, and while it wasn't earth shattering like it was with Jace, her breath hitched, the butterflies were back and her face heated a little more "So, where are you from?"

"New York"

"Wow, you must be bored as hell in a small town like this"

She shrugged "It's not so bad. It's quite, I like the quite"

"Yeah, but sometimes the quite can be lonely"

Before she could think about what she saying the words fell out of her mouth "Well atleast now I have a neighbor for when I get lonely" She couldn't believe she just said that but as she watched his face his smile grew, and so did hers.

"That you do, and you can call on me anytime the loneliness gets to you"

She stretched her legs out across the deck by his, leaving only a fraction of space between them. "Thanks"

He shifted his so that the fraction of space was gone and they were touching, well their claves were. The butterflies in her stomach went crazy as she meet his eyes again "No problem Clary" She sat there staring into Sebastian's eye and realized she had done it. She was sitting, making small talk, and maybe even flirting with a boy. She was being normal. Just then Jonathan's voice broke the silence.

"Carrot?"

She looked over at the door "Out here Jon" She felt Sebastian's legs tighten and when she looked back at him he looked concerned. She reached her hand out and laid it on his leg " It's ok it's just my brother Jon" Sebastian looked down at her hand on his leg then up to her, his eyes seemed darker, but before she could try and figure out what had happened the patio door opened and Jonathan's voice broke the silence again.

"What are you" She looked away from Sebastian and up at her brother. His eyes were bouncing back and forth between her and Sebastian before it stopped on her hand laying on his leg "doing?"

"Jon this is our neighbor, Sebastian, Sebastian my brother Jonathan" Jonathan's eyes looked up at Sebastian and he nodded his head, before he turned and looked at her.

"I got you something Carrot" His hand reached into his back pocket and he pulled out a small black phone and held it out for her "it isn't much but I figured it would help with the decorations." His eyes moved back over to Sebastian for a minute before returning to her and he smiled.

She moved her hand off of Sebastian's leg and reached up to grab the phone "Thanks Jonathan, this is awesome"

" I already put my number in there so you would at least have one, but it looks like you might have more" He chuckled, shook his head and started back towards the door " I'll leave you to alone, See you in the morning carrot"

She closed her eyes and squeezed the phone a little tighter at her brothers word "Goodnight Jonathan" She heard him laughing again before the door clicked shut. She opened her eyes and looked over at Sebastian, his eyes were closed and his head was resting against the railing "I'm sorry about him"

His eyes opened and he looked at her "Its ok" He looked over at the door again like he was making sure Jonathan was really gone "So you didn't have a phone?"

She glanced down at the black thing in her hand "I had one in New York, but I left it when we left" She ran her fingers over the buttons and the screen lit up "I don't even know how to use this thing"

Sebastian held his hand out "Here let me see" She laid the phone in his out stretched hand, and when her fingers brushed his palm the butterflies were back. She watched as he moved his other hand towards the phone and started pushing buttons "So, if you don't mind me asking what is with the veggie nickname"

She laughed "Oh that, well when we were younger, Jonathan always use to tease me and say my hair looked like carrots and I guess it just sort of stuck" He looked up from her phone and smiled.

"Oh ok, so you want me to show you how to use this" He shook the phone

"Sure"

He stood up and moved across the deck, only to sit next to her "So if you push this green button it will take you to your numbers you use this button to move up and down until you find the person you want then push the green button again and it will call the person you choice" She watched his fingers move over the buttons like he was a professional " If you push the red button it will take you back to this screen" She pushed a few stray curls behind her ears, she was trying really hard to watch his hands and listen to his voice but all she could seem to notice was the heat coming off his body. Before she knew what she was doing she scooted closer to him, and he froze. When he started talking again his voice was a little shaky "If you push this button it will take you to your messages" She looked from his hands up to his face, he was looking at her and his eyes were dark again "If you want to text someone you go there and push new messages" She nodded never looking away from his eyes "If you want to save a new number just type the number on the main screen then hit save" his voice was barley a whisper now.

She didn't know what was happening but everything in her body was screaming at her to kiss him, but she didn't know how. She glanced from his eyes down to his lips then back to his eyes "Sebastian?" His hand moved from her phone to her cheek and as soon as his palm touched it felt like the world froze.

"Clary?" His eye looked back and forth at her like he was searching for an answer, but she didn't have the answers all she had was feelings and they were confusing the hell out of her at the moment. He closed his eyes and sighed "I should go it is late"

She closed her eyes took a breath and pulled away from him a little bit, waiting for the world to start spinning again."Oh ok. Well will I see you tomorrow at school?"

"Of course" She kept her eyes closed until she felt him stand then she finally opened them and looked up at him. The smile was back but he looked guarded as he handed her the phone back "I'll see you tomorrow"

She grabbed the phone "Ok" Then he turned around and started to walk away "Hey Sebastian, thanks"

He glanced over his shoulder "Like I said anytime" Then he jogged across the yard and into the door on the back of his house.

She laid her head back against the house and closed her eyes thinking about what had almost just happen. She almost had her first kiss, ok maybe not her first kiss, but the first kiss where she wanted to be kissed. She opened her eyes and looked down at the phone in her hands, then she remembered the number in her sketch book and the reason she was on the deck in the first place, to find a distraction. While Sebastian had given her the distraction from the thoughts of Jace she was looking for, she knew that she was just going to have to find something to distract her from thoughts of him now. She opened her sketchbook and typed in the number like he had showed her then hit save, before standing up, grabbing the book and walking inside. She laid the book on the shelf inside the door and fell on her bed. She pushed the buttons on the phone finally completing the mission she had thought about all weekend and hopefully the first of many messages.

_Hey, Sorry it has been so long but I just got a phone. ~ C_

She rolled over laid the phone on her bedside table and turned off her lamp. She closed her eyes and was about to drift off when the phone beeped, blinking she reached over and grabbed it her heart racing.

_For when you get lonely Cherry ~ Seb_

She closed as her eyes and was glad that it was dark and she was alone because her face was on fire. Yeah she was definitely going to need a lot more distractions and judging by her bodies reaction to just a text message she was going to have to do it soon.

A/N: Thanks to everybody who reviewed, it's awesome to know that somebody other than me gets joy from my writing.

Just a heads up I know that people don't put the name or initial at the end of every text message but it was the only thing I could come up with so it didn't get to confusing.

Also I do not have an update guideline, I will update as the chapters get done. I will try to give you guys at least one a week but I make no promises.


	4. Chapter 4

**** All characters, places, dates or anything else that is related to or from the Mortal Instrument series are the property of Cassandra Clare.****

A/N: I am so sorry guys for the long wait, my laptop died and it took me forever to save up to get a new one. That being said I had 95% of this story done on my other laptop and lost it, so basically I had to start over. Which is harder than it sounds, but I didn't want to leave you guys hanging. That being said I am really sorry again and hope that you guys will bear with me as I try to get back in "Character" for this story.

Chapter 4 –

Clary stared down at her phone, she had been staring at it for what felt like forever. The messages on the screen were clear. The words were short and simple. What she couldn't understand was the meaning. She felt sick to her stomach as she reread the messages.

_Hey, Sorry it has been so long but I just got a phone. ~ C_

_Who is this? ~ J_

_Clary… The girl from the dinner. ~ C_

_What girl? ~ J_

_The redheaded girl from Friday. I know it has been a few days but I just got a phone ~ C_

_What do you want? I have a girlfriend ~ J_

Why would he give her his number if he had a girlfriend? Why did it matter that he had a girlfriend? Why couldn't they just be friends? Who was his girlfriend? As all the questions rolled around in her head she noticed that the screen of the phone was getting blurry. "DAMN IT" She threw the phone down on her bed. She would not cry, she would not cry. She wasn't that girl any more. The girl that sat in her room and cried because life didn't make since, was in New York. She had vowed to herself that she wasn't going to be that girl anymore, she was going to leave that girl behind.

"Easy there it may not look like much but I paid a lot for that thing" She looked up to see Jonathan leaning against the door frame of her room. His was still in his pj's which were a pair of dark grey sweat pants, his hair was still tossled from sleep and he was holding a black coffee cup. "So what is the major problem this morning?" She watched as he brought the black mug to his mouth.

"Is that fresh" She watched as he moved the cup from his mouth and nodded "Sweet" She headed across the room towards the door he was leaning in. As she went to walk past him into the kitchen he grabbed her arm.

"What's the problem?"

She looked into his eyes and saw fear mixed with something else. She knew what he was thinking; the past had caught up to them. No matter how much she wanted to forget about that girl, she would always be there. There past was never really gone. She put her hand on top of his " Not that kind of problem" She glanced back to her bed and the phone " See for yourself" She watched as his face relaxed and he moved his hand from her arm.

As he headed for her bed she started towards the kitchen again. Would they ever be ok? Would they ever be able to have normal problems? Sure there past was always going to be there, lurking in the shadows. Would she ever really be able to leave that girl behind? She reached for black mug, added two spoons of sugar, poured in the coffee and stirred. She turned around to head back to her room.

She stopped in the door way and looked at Jonathan sitting on her bed. It was one thing to deal with the past in her head, but when she saw it in him it made it harder, more real. He saw the strong one, the calm on, the one who had it together. So when the past got to him it made it harder for her to believe she could do it.

"So I take it this is the one from the dinner, not the one last night"

She walked over to her dresser, an grabbed a black pair of jeans "Yeah" She turned around and look down at the floor "I'm sorry I worried you this morning. I was just…" What was she doing? What was she feeling?

"Mad, angry, hurt, confused"

She looked up at Jonathan, he was still sitting on the edge of her bed, phone in one hand coffee cup in the other. She could tell by his eyes and the relaxed set of his face that he understood. He wasn't judging her. He wasn't mad or upset with her. He was just there waiting and willing to help like he always was. "Yeah all of those things" She turned back around to the dresser and started searching for a shirt "Which makes no sense" She slammed the drawer closed "I mean that is nothing compared to…" She froze. She couldn't say it. She didn't want to say it; she didn't even want to think about that it. How was she suppose to let the past go, when she compared everything that happened to it? How was she supposed to move on? She couldn't forget about it.

She hadn't heard him move but the next thing she new Jonathan was standing behind her, his hand on her shoulder. "Clary it is supposed to hurt. It is suppose to make you sad and mad and make you want to throw things. And I know it doesn't compare to that, nothing ever will but that doesn't mean it shouldn't hurt or upset you''

She looked up at him; his bright green eyes were still full of understanding. She tried to smile "When did you get so smart"

The sound of his laugh echoed around the room "So how do you plan to handle this" He wiggled the phone in front of her. The confusion she felt must of shown on her face because he removed his hand from her should and leaned against the dresser "Well the way I see it you have two chooses. You can one, be the old you let it go and keep your feelings to yourself or you can be the new you and tell him how you really feel" The sound of knocking cut across the house, Jonathan glanced over his should and just for a moment she could of swore he tensed. He turned back around to her " I'll get that you get ready" He laid the phone on the dresser in front of her and turned towards the front of the house " But remember the chose is yours" With that he left pulling the door to her room closed.

She stared at the phone while she removed her sweats and tank top and put on her jeans and white t-shirt. Could she really do it? Could she really tell somebody how she felt? She had kept everything inside for so long would she even be able to say the right words? This is what she told herself she was going to do, she was going to leave the old girl behind and be the person she wanted to be. Telling him what she was really thinking would be the first of many steps to living up to her promise but could she really do it? Then as if the phone knew what she was thinking it beeped.

_Wear red today. Trust me :) ~ Seb_

Before she could think too much about the message there was a knock at her door. She put the phone in her back pocket before she headed for the door and her brother "Yeah" She swung the door open but was shocked at who was on the other side. It wasn't her brother it was the waitress from the dinner.

She had on a red t-shirt that said Bulldogs and had a picture of a wrinkly faced dog on the front. She was wearing dark blue jeans and her long black hair was pulled up into a messy bun on top of her head. 'I thought that maybe you would like a ride to school"

Clary looked over the girls shoulder to see Jonathan standing by the front door, his arms crossed over his bare chest and a smile on his face. When her eyes met his he gave her a small nod, that said go for it, it's ok. She looked back at the girl in front of her "Yeah, Sure thanks let me just grab my bag"

"Awesome I'm Isabelle by the way but everybody calls me Izzy"

Clary reached down and grabbed the black book bag of the ground "I'm Classria but everybody calls me Clary" When she looked back up at the girl, Izzy she had a warm smile on her face.

Izzy turned and headed for the front or "We have to take my brother and his friend to but they are ok, and the ride isn't too long"

When they reached the front door Clary noticed that Jonathan's smile had gotten bigger and that his eyes we focused on Izzy 'Well you ladies have a good day" His face turned towards her "Carrot I will see you later" She looked at her brother, smiled then walked out the front door following Izzy "Remember what I said" She looked over her shoulder, nodded then picked up her pace to catch up with her ride.

When she reached Izzy side the girl turned to look at her "So, you are going to have to tell me everything about your brother"

Clary laughed as she walked by the girl across the street, towards a silver car in the driveway of the big gray house "I think I can handle that" That is what normal girls did, they talked about boys. An if she could talk boys with Izzy, even if the boy is question was her brother, she would be one step closer to normal. One step closer to leaving the past behind her. One step closer to fulfilling her promise.

Just as they reached the silver car, two boys came out the front door of the house. The first one had the same bright blue eyes and black hair as Isabelle. He was wearing a white football jersey with 52 in bright red on the front. Behind him was another dark hair boy, with yellow- green eyes. He was wearing a sparkly red vest over a red shirt. "This is my brother Alec and this is his friend Magnus, Boys this is Clary, she is new and is going to ride with us"

The boy in the football jersey, Alec nodded his head then got in the back of the car "So now I am just Alec's friend Izzy" The boy in the red glitter vest was walking around to the other side of the car by her. He smiled as he pasted her then got in the back seat next to Alec. She glanced back over to her house and saw Jonathan standing on the front porch, and like he knew what she was waiting for he nodded again. She opened the passenger side door of the silver car, put her book bag in the floor and pulled the phone out of her back pocket. As she sat down in the gray seat and locked her seat belt she pushed the little button on the phone to light up the screen and without thinking she replayed to the message that showed up, taking another step to putting the past behind her.

_I don't have any, Will you bring me one ~ C_

She had already taken two steps so she told herself what is one more. She pushed the back button and clicked on the message from this morning. An before she lost her courage she typed out the message she had been holding in, pushed send then stuck the phone in the front pocket of her book bag. Letting out a breath she didn't realize she had been holding she focused on the people in the car around her and the way that Izzy and Magnus were joking back and forth.

Jace pulled into the small driveway in front of Sebastian's house, put the jeep in neutral, pulled the e-brake then beeped the horn. "Look I know you want to talk and we will. After school I have practice, then work so I will come over to the dinner after that OK?

"Ok" At the sound of her reply he pulled the phone away from his ear, pushed the end button then threw up on the dash. He pushed the horn button on the steering wheel before running his hand through his hair. Why did he do it? He knew it was going to cause problems. Last night with Aline had been great, and everything he wanted it to be. He didn't have another thought about red hair, or green eyes for the rest of the night, but this morning he was starting to wish he would have. After last night Aline was in the frame of mind that they were back together, or closer to being back together than they were before. So all the hard work and long talks that he had put into ended their relationship were forgotten. He should have just manned up and dealt with the thought of her. Her red hair, her sad green eyes. Her being so close, right across the tree line, right next door to Seb. His eyes shot up to the house on the left. There was a beautiful black truck in the driveway, and a guy with white blonde hair, wearing nothing but dark grey sweats on the front porch. As he eyes focused on the guy on the porch he realized that it was her brother, then one she had been at the dinner and he was staring across the street.

Jace leaned back in the stiff leather seat of his jeep; he closed his eyes and ran his hands through his hair. He told himself over and over not to do, it was only going to make things worse, but he opened eyes anyways and slowly moved them towards the rear view mirror. There she was standing next to Izzy's silver car; he reached up and adjusted the mirror so he could get a better view of her. His fantasy didn't come close to doing her justice, her hair was brighter than he remembered, her skin paler, her body smaller, and he was sure that if he could see her eyes they would better to. He watched her as small smile spread across her face, as she opened the door, as threw her back pack in a got in the car. He sat there staring at the passenger door of the silver car hoping that she would get back, hoping that maybe she would of forgot something and would have to run back across the street so he could get a better look. The sound of his phone beeping cut through the silence of the jeep but he ignored it afraid that if he looked away from the mirror he would miss her. He watched as the silver car backed out of the driveway and disappeared down the street. H continued to stare down out the mirror hoping that the car came back until the sound of a door opening forced his eyes to look away.

He glanced over to see Sebastian hop in the seat next to his, he was wearing his white jersey and his hair was damp. Sebastian's pulled the drop shut behind him the glanced over Jace's shoulder and waved. Jace turned his head to notice that the white hair guy was still standing on the porch. When he eyes landed on Jace he started laughing then glanced back and forth between the boys. It was like the white hair guy was in some private joke that Jace didn't know. Jace turned his head back toward Seb "Who is that"

Sebastian glanced back over Jace's shoulder "Oh that is Jonathan. He is Clary's older brother"

He glanced back over at the white hair guy he know knew was Jonathan. He was still standing on the porch laughing. Jace wasn't sure if it was the fact that the Jonathan guy was laughing at him, or if it was that Sebastian's seemed to know more about her than he did, but as he pushed the e-brake down and shifted the jeep into reverse he was filled with anger.

He wasn't sure who or what he was angrier at. Himself for the choice he made last. Aline for the phone call this morning. Clary for turning him down. Clary's brother Jonathan for laughing at him, or Sebastian for knowing more about her then he did. All he knew is that in that moment he was fumming and wanted to hit something, but since he wasn't sure who or what to hit he was taking to anger out on his jeep. He was pushing the peddles hard than needed, and was slamming the gear shift with more force than necessary. His knuckles on the steering wheel were white and the leather groaned under his grip.

"What the hell dude"

Jace glanced over at his friend, lifting his eyebrows "What"

"What the hell did the jeep do you to this morning?"

Jace looked down at his white knuckles on the steering wheel. Sebastian was right, the jeep didn't do anything, and hell his friend didn't do anything to him. He hated to admit it but the only person who he could blame was himself. Jace took a deep breath and let it out slowly pushing his angry to the back of his mind. He looked over at his friend who was in return looking at him "Sorry dude bad night, bad morning"

Seb being the laid back person that he was just laugh it off "I guess that means you spent the night with Aline"

"Yeah. Why did you bring that" Jace pointed to his friends red football jersey laying folded up in his lap.

"Oh, it's for a friend." Jace watched as Sebastian typed something in his phone then laid it don on top of the red jersey. He switched the gears of his jeep easier this time. "So the parade is on Friday and the game is on Friday but the dance was moved to Saturday so Alec is throwing a party after the game at the barn"

Jace laughed at the exciting in Seb voice about the party as he eased his jeep in the parking lot behind the school. Jace reached into the back seat and grabbed his white jersey as Sebastian hopped out of the jeep. He watched his friend cut across the parking lot and join their group of friends. He pulled the jersey over his head, opened the door and grabbed his phone of the dash. The blinking green light reminded him of the beep he ignored earlier, he pushed the button on the top then the view now button on his phone.

_I'm sorry it took me so long to get back to you, but I never asked for your number. I also never said I wanted to be your girlfriend or anything more, so maybe you should get to know people before you assume you know everything about them. Please just leave me alone. ~ _

Jace reread the message three times; he was shocked and pissed at the tone of the message but more than anything he wanted to know who the sender was. His brain was screaming at him that it was her, that this was her rejecting he had been waiting for. But he wouldn't believe it until he knew for sure. He glanced back over to his group of friends and there she was standing next to Izzy laughing at something Sebastian said. He looked back down at his phone hit reply and type one word

_What? ~ J_

As he sent the send button he hoped like hell it was a wrong number even though ever thing was telling him it wasn't. He glanced back over the group and found her; she was now talking to Izzy holding Sebastian's red jersey in her hand. As he watched she reached into her back pocket, pulled out small black phone, he saw her push button then shake her head and put the phone back in her pocket. She turned towards Sebastian again and said something the laughed and pulled his red jersey over her head.


End file.
